What happened to all the different colors and fonts and stuff? I tend to get lost without icons to guide me. Maybe most graduates go through this lost feeling, and of course we're talking about more than not knowing how to post a blog in blazing orange Times New Roman. Do I have a purpose in life? It used to be so clear to me, but then, so did other things, and to be honest, my head was not "clear" in the sense most people define it. I miss the fog. I miss the secrets within the mist and all the abstraction and all the particles of mystery. I decided it's for the better, but is it? Yeah, breaking down is never my ultimate goal, but I felt so much better before it happened, so much better than I do now. Is it just the way it goes that once we have time to write, we suffer from severe writer's block? Is anything I have to say important? My words are my art; do they matter? I love reading other people's words, seeing their art, hearing their music, and it needs to keep flowing. Should I add to it or will my contribution only pollute it? Sometimes I panic, especially in the last week. What am I doing here? Why am I still here? I chose to stay in Morris because I believed I had things to learn, people to love, and to hear my "calling". Maybe I'm not listening. I don't really like that everyone asks me when I'm leaving, because I'm not. Should I leave? Do they want me out of their community? What AM I doing here, anyway? I mean, I'm only working one job right now, a job in which I don't really believe and to which I do have some moral objections...is it a good idea to stay for love and the chance to fill some empty holes in my life? I've got family and friends here, I'll have my boyfriend, but is that enough? And is it fair for them, especially Mike and especially me? Maybe I shouldn't build my foundation on something so unsure, but the only thing I have right now is my heart, and I trust it. Let's hope things are better when he gets back and I have a more meaningful job and have established my home...let's hope I'm doing the right thing.