A teat is offered me, and I smoke it. Welcome the arrival of Big John into my life! He makes it possible. Anyhoo, Channukah had special meaning this year, despite the fact that I was unable to light a menorah, give sacraments, do all that celebratin' of life with the fam and presents and close friends and treats, I reflected on it inwardly more than I ever have, realized why it was a winter holiday, and how it symbolizes the light provided me in a very dark world. I've taken the link to this site off my facebook profile simply because my mother is now one of my facebook friends and is otherwise unaware of the fact that I have this blog and that I write awful shit about her on it. I prefer not to have that link ready at her hands. I need my outlet, but I don't want to cause more grief in this intense, dysfunctional relationship even though it has its ups.